Guilt in the Heart
by ChanielGokudera
Summary: There was always guilt in Gokudera's heart.Only such a little time is he able to release it.


This is the first POV story I wrote so please be polite with the reviews xD.  
This is a one-shot.

Disclaimer:I do not own the characters.

* * *

Gokudera's POV

She smiles happily when I'm around and cries when I'm about to go to a mission. I can't do anything at all when she's crying her eyes out. All I can do is listen to her quietly until she stops.I just tell her that I'll be ,who am I to say that? I can't predict the future.I feel sorry for the times I've been leaving her in the morning. I feel sorry that she wakes up finding an empty bed beside her and making breakfast for only herself.I always call her stupid like it's her name. Maybe I don't deserve to be loved at all but she is there at our cozy home, having the patience to wait for me when I leave. I feel extremely anytime she'll snap out of it and leave me. That's scares me so much though it sort of serves me right.

It was cold this day,snow raining in my head,feeling sorry for what I've done but I don't show anyone my weakness.I want to cry though,I'm a man,real men don't cry,well that's what they say.I felt that inside my heart is cracking into pieces now,she has been like that and I don't know what happened after our last fight. I felt guilty.I'm so mad at my the first time of my whole life,I want a hole under me to open and swallow me whole. I felt something wet in my eyes,wait,are this tears?!I actually broke my tears out and this is also the first time that I loved and cried for someone other than my mother and my best conscience is eating me and is shouting ' _come back to her,maybe she'll accept you again'. _Now I'm beginning to think that maybe I'm too late now.I stopped crying and wipe my tears away and went on my way to her and maybe, maybe she'll accept me back.I'll just try to say sorry but if she rejects me,there's nothing I can time when I was about to leave,she told me that maybe I have another girl in my work.I was dumbfounded and to think she was that is my pride,my joy,my life,my happiness,my inspiration and she was my only was the one I think of whenever I feel down or every time I feel like loosing. She was the one I think of before I go to is the reason for living my life.I want to see her maybe the most annoying teens when we're in middle school or we maybe hate each other,but time passes quickly.

It made me feel guilty whenever I'm the reason behind her sufferings.

When I was nearly at her house, I saw a familiar face sitting on the bench. Until I went nearer and saw her, hugging herself. She was cold. I ran to her. What's her problem?! I panicked. What is she doing there?! I knelt down in front of her and touch her hands, it was freezing. She was trembling. I want to call her stupid, scold at her and tell her to go inside, but that wasn't the perfect time for that. I asked her "What are you doing here outside?!" I gave her my jacket and put it on her shoulders. I waited for her but there was nothing.I sat down next to her and hugged buried her face into my neck. I felt water sliding down my neck , I pushed her gently , held her chin and putted it up. She was crying.I don't know why and there are many questions in my mind.I guess, is she hurt?Did she got robbed?Did her favorite cake shopped closed?! I cant understand this girl sometimes.

"I was waiting for you"she sobbed and sobbed,while me, my brain registered those six words into my mind.I was dumbfounded. I opened my mouth but no words just come out.I want to comfort her, but I don't know how,maybe I was too shocked to say something or too shocked to then continued, "I thought you wouldn't return,I felt nervous,I felt could I look up to tomorrow without you!?" she shouted,her tears were about to drown eyes widened,seeing the pain in her innocent chocolate brown eyes.I began to think of many things ,I was troubled with her words,I felt is too hurt,seeing her like that makes me hurt too. I feel like I swallowed most of her pain.I know I'm the reason behind dare of mine are threatening to fall anytime now.

"I love you…"she spoke.I gave it in,I felt like the whole world just turned around .Honestly I cant handle extreme is too much.I turned my head side wards to avoid her. I hesitantly reached out for her cheeks.I noticed she was biting her lower lip.I held her soft skin touched my cold hands,and she was still trembling.I cursed myself,although I don't know why, but her suffering were transferring to me.I felt irritated but, Its fine now because I didn't know what it's like to be hurt so I know now.I put down my hand and hold her hand. I face the space between us, I shut my eyes so hard and then I began shouting "I love you too and I regret everything I did that made you sad! I felt sorry for all the times I've been hurting you!" I can't take it anymore, I needed to tell her everything. I continued "I'm sorry that I didn't took care of you the way you did,I'm sorry I didn't give you much value the way you gave me…" I started crying again. She stare at me , raised up her hand, I was expecting for a slap .Until I realize the next thing that happened was that it never came, her tender hands held my chin and put it up "If you're lying, I swear I'll kill you- ." Lying?!So she thought I'm lying.  
I didn't let her finished her sentence and shouted "What the hell woman?! Do you think I'll lie with such things, DAMN IT WOMAN!". I was furious, my eyes was so wide open.

I then realize she was already half asleep . "You promise not to do it again and stay with me always, okay?" she murmured under her breath. I noticed,I began feeling sleepy too, but before I do I said "I promise with all my heart". I kissed her forehead and shut my eye. From that day on, I didn't felt guilt in my heart because I let them all out and loved her the way she loved me.

* * *

*yawns* I finally finished typing ! POV means point of view.  
Trivia: I wrote this in a paper first and I wrote this every 5 minute break when we are practicing our dance contest thingy.  
Reviews will be if I make Gokudera too OOC.

~59FanGirl_PeaceOut~


End file.
